Posts Tagged ‘anxiety’
If you wouldn’t mind ~ and if you have a chance today ~ could you please send some prayers, best wishes, healing energies, etc. to our good friend Vicky? I know that she needs them and would *really* appreciate get-well thoughts right now. She was admitted to the hospital yesterday morning with severe pain on her side. The doctors have conducted lots of tests, of course, and hopefully the next update that we receive will be a positive one. I felt sad this morning when I opened my e-mail and saw a message from our friend Natalie saying that Vicky was in the hospital. Definitely not a fun weekend for them. :( Vicky and Natalie used to be our neighbors when we moved to New York and lived in our first apartment, and they have become family to us.
After hearing that news, my little head cold doesn’t seem so bad. I haven’t slept well the last few nights because my nose is totally congested, and breathing through my mouth is annoying. I’m sure that I can take some type of cold medicine that won’t interfere with my anxiety medication, but I’m probably just going to “ride it out” instead. I’m one big ball of snot, and Meredith is, too. Lucas seems to have gotten over it for the most part. Jeff and the kids are at church this morning.
We’re *so* proud of how well Lucas did at his preschool open house yesterday morning. But here’s the thing ~ no Pull-Ups are allowed! Actually, this last week, Lucas has expressed an interest in wearing undies ~ so we bought him some more at the store (“Cars,” of course!). He’s had a few accidents, which is to be expected. But I think that he’s going to be OK. It was *so* cute how his teacher had a tiny coat rack especially for him with his name above it, and then his name is also listed under “March” on a birthday wall calendar in the classroom. In the corner where the “classroom tree” is, his name is also printed on a leaf. He did *so* well playing with the other kids, and preschool is *all* he talks about these days. Excited is an understatement! His stuffed friend Blue can’t come with him, though, and that’s going to be tough. September 23rd is Lucas’s turn to bring a snack for the entire class, and it’s also his very first “show-and-tell day.” I joked that he’ll probably want to bring Meredith and proudly show his classmates how he has scratched her up and down. LOL! :)
Oh, and if anyone wants to buy some Yankee Candle stuff … the parents were sent home with a fundraising packet. Can you believe that? Fundraising for preschool? I didn’t realize that stuff started *so* early! I would have expected it for elementary or high school. At least it’s *good* things that I really enjoy (and we don’t have to sell cheap jewelry, Schlage door knobs, or something else strange like that). Now I know what we’ll be giving for birthday and Christmas gifts this year, LOL! :)
Yesterday marked six months since my grandfather’s passing. That’s six months that he hasn’t gotten to see. Sometimes it just doesn’t seem real or possible that my grandparents are gone. When I do everyday things around the house, such as taking a tablecloth from the drawer of their dining room hutch (which my grandpa made himself) or cleaning off the dining room table (which used to belong to them), it feels surreal. I keep thinking about how these things shouldn’t be in *our* home ~ how they should be at my grandparents’ house in the exact spaces where they were before, with my grandparents still here to use them. I want everything to be how it *used* to be, but no one lives in my grandparents’ home anymore. Didn’t we just see my grandpa at Christmas? Seems like yesterday. I find myself looking at photos of him and thinking, “No, this isn’t real. I should be able to pick up the phone and give him a call. Right?” I keep thinking about things that I’d like to tell him. He’d be *so* proud of Lucas’s potty training and Meredith’s ever-expanding vocabulary. Sometimes I still just feel like I’m in shock that they’re both gone. It doesn’t seem possible.
Sorry to be a little bit of a downer. :( I think that today we’re just going to hang out here at home and get stuff done. Jeff and Lucas went outside to finish mowing the grass, and I need to pop in a few loads of laundry. I also need to work on some freelance assignments. Tomorrow, I’m working in our church’s nursery to help take care of the infants during the service, and then afterward we’re heading over to see our friends Vicky and Natalie. That should be fun! I have a doctor’s appointment Monday morning, and I’m kind of nervous about it. Always glad to get those over with. And I’m going to have to take Luke and Meri with me. After trying to corral two active toddlers during my checkup, I’m sure that my doctor will gladly refill my anxiety medication! LOL! :)
Jeff travels to Baltimore on Monday and doesn’t get back until Friday. It could be a long week!
Guess what? This morning, I forced myself out of bed at 6:30 a.m., stumbled down to our basement, and used our elliptical machine for about 15 minutes. Afterward, I did some abdominal crunches and stretching, followed by a brief moment of meditation and then a quiet prayer. Talk about a wonderful way to start the day! It really got my blood flowing, and I felt pretty energized. But by 9:30 a.m., I thought to myself, “Man … this day is just *dragging* by!” That happens when you get up so early! But I totally got *so* much done. The elliptical machine told me that my body fat percentage is 37 but that ideally it should be 30 or less. Ugh. :( Hey ~ we should get a nifty new lcd monitor for the basement now! :)
A new friend in my moms’ group inspired me. She works out every day, first thing in the morning. (She also experiences anxiety just like me.) And you know, for a while now I’ve been thinking about getting up a little early ~ before the kids awake ~ in order to have a bit of quiet time to myself. My mother-in-law actually wakes up at 3 a.m. every day ~ well before she has to head in to work! She drinks some coffee, watches some TV, reads the paper, and enjoys a peaceful start to the day. I used to think, “3 a.m.? That’s insane!” But now, I completely understand. It would be nice not to have to start the day “running” … to have a little bit of time to think about things, to enjoy a cup of tea while gazing out the window, to exercise, etc. So, Mondays through Fridays, I’m going to see how this new routine works out. (I’ll be taking a break on the weekends!) I hope that getting into a regular exercise pattern and having some time to myself in the mornings will help reduce my stress and anxiety, too.
A *very* happy second wedding anniversary today to our good friends Sara and Matt in Wisconsin! And a *very* happy third birthday today to Amanda, the daughter of an online mom friend of mine (Carrie in Massachusetts). And a *very* happy 33rd birthday today to one of my oldest friends, Carrie (we went to school together from kindergarten all the way through high school!). Lots of special reasons to celebrate today!
I’m doing a bunch of cooking today for two families in our church. One family has a daughter who has been battling leukemia for several years now (ugh ~ I just *cannot* imagine what they’re going through), and our moms’ group is helping them by bringing meals over to their house. I’m also preparing a meal for Karen, a fellow moms’ group member who just had a baby girl not too long ago (but unfortunately with some health problems). I made a huge batch of pasta salad (not sure what else I’m going to make, though), and for their dessert I made some chocolate-peanut butter fudge from Rachael Ray’s latest magazine issue. (Talk about a sugar attack … two sticks of butter, an entire jar of creamy peanut butter, six ounces of chocolate, three cups of powdered sugar … need I say more?) Bring on the diet pills! LOL! :)
I’m also trying to get our house clean (the downstairs, anyway!) for Thursday, when some members of our moms’ group come over for brunch. It’ll be a small group, and I think that one of the other moms suffers from anxiety, as well, so we’re going to share our experiences. I’m really looking forward to it. I get to cook again ~ and I think that I’m going to make that zesty brunch quiche that I blogged about the other day.
P.S. My husband’s root canal was scheduled for today, but his dentist went into labor! So, therefore, his appointment will have to be rescheduled. Oh, come on … why can’t she perform a root canal in between contractions? haha :)
By sick people, that is!
A few days ago, Meredith threw up a couple of times in our kitchen. I didn’t think much of it; she had been chewing on the edge of a sticker sheet, and I assumed that she had just stuck the sheet back into her mouth too far and gagged. She seemed absolutely fine afterward. Well, early Wednesday morning (around 4:45 a.m.), I woke up to the sounds of Jeff getting sick in our bathroom. I went in to check on him, and he wondered whether it was food poisoning. He went back to bed and got some rest, and then when Lucas woke up, he started getting sick, too. Fun times. :( Poor Luke couldn’t hold much of anything down, but somehow last night he was able to eat a package of fruit snacks just fine. Strange! So, obviously, a tummy bug hit our household ~ and we have *no* idea where it came from.
Everyone’s feeling *much* better now, though. Jeff went back to work today (and even drove to Buffalo, NY, this afternoon for an overnight trip!). Meredith still feels a little warm, but she’s *always* warm. Lucas fell asleep very quickly this evening … he’s probably still not totally 100 percent. He’s eating more, though, which is good. And terrorizing his little sister is always a sign that he’s back to his normal self! :)
Me? A situation like this is pretty much my own personal nightmare. :( It’s awfully difficult for someone who’s emetophobic, and I’ve been hoping and praying with all my might that I don’t come down with what everyone else had. I woke up this morning feeling achy all over and quite “blah,” but after I laid down for a while, I seemed to feel better. Not sure whether I’m “out of the woods” yet. Ahh, I need an ocean vacation to the Outer Banks or something! LOL! :) Surprisingly, I think that I’ve handled this entire situation a *lot* better than I would have in the past, now that I’m taking this anxiety medication. But when I think about what Laura and her family are going through right now with their eldest daughter, Rebecca, it pales in comparison. I was *so* happy to hear positive news in her blog today. And I’m relieved to hear that Chas over at Sugar and Ice is feeling *much* better now, too, and that her precious babies are OK.
Here’s hoping that everyone out there who is reading this is feeling 100 percent healthy and well!
Friday night, we watched “The Bucket List.” A bit depressing, but it’s definitely one of my *very* favorite movies now. (Anything starring Morgan Freeman is usually awesome!) At one point in the film, he asks two questions: “Have you found joy in your life?” and “Has your life brought joy to others?” I think that he may have nailed down the meaning of life right there. Without a doubt, that’s how I want to live my life. Just a beautiful, inspiring, and funny movie. I highly recommend it.
Today, bright and early at 9 a.m., Lucas and I walked down to our town hall and volunteered to help pull weeds and spread new mulch around the building. I thought that it would be good exercise for Luke (as well as an opportunity to be outside and enjoy the fresh humid summertime air). Lucas was a *huge* help, and he also got to take a few rides on a tractor (totally the highlight of his day!). It always makes me feel great when I can help, and I might go back sometime tomorrow for more work.
Thank you, everyone, for caring so much about Lucas and for offering your support regarding his Lyme Disease diagnosis. All of your best wishes were just amazing and really meant a lot to us. I’m happy to report that he’s doing tons better now that he’s taking this antibiotic. The red splotch on his right leg is virtually nonexistent, and the pinkish area along his left cheek has disappeared. He has plenty of energy, no more droopy eyes or exhaustion, and is really back to his regular self now. It was totally heart-wrenching to see our son feeling completely miserable. What a relief that he now has medicine to treat the disease and that he’s on the mend. What a scary experience. Every time I’ve taken the kids outside so far this week, I’ve put hats and long pants on them and sprayed them down with insect repellent. I mowed our grass this morning and made sure to carefully check for ticks when I came inside. We’re just going to have to be even more vigilant about protection and prevention. (I hope that our cookout guests on Saturday won’t be frightened to come over to our house.)
Speaking of that (on a much lighter note), thank you to everyone who responded to my “Recipe 911″ dilemma. I’ve decided to go with Christina’s pasta recipe, but I’m definitely keeping the other suggestions in mind. I’m looking forward to doing some cooking and preparing for our cookout (I think that we have a menu pretty much set), but at the moment I just feel incredibly stressed out with a bunch of things going on at the moment. I hope that everything will work out OK (and that my anxiety won’t flare up this weekend). Maybe I can enjoy a relaxing bubble bath this evening. (Hey, a girl can dream, right?)
And finally, on a really lighter note, isn’t this necklace beautiful? Buy.com is having a big sale at the moment ~ lots of good weekly deals listed. There are TVs, computer equipment, grills, and much more, but that necklace really caught my eye. One thing that I love about their store is that they accept PayPal. (I wish that more websites did.) I had no idea that they had a baby store, either. I love backpack purses … not sure what happened to the old one that I used to carry! And holy cow, the Canon Rebel XSi is on sale big time. I think that I’m going to save my pennies for a nice zoom lens down the road. Oh, and they’re offering an illuminated keyboard for just $8.99 (after rebate). I love finding awesome deals! The one thing that I wish Buy.com would offer, though, is PayPal as a means of paying for gift certificates. Otherwise, it’s a very cool site for finding bargains and neat stuff.
Gotta go … I need to work on my current freelance projects and of course do more cleaning in preparation for Claire’s arrival tomorrow. Hope you’re having a nice day today!
I woke up this morning to a nice phone call from one of my moms’ group mentors. We talked for quite a while. She calls every so often to check on me and to see how I’m doing, and that means so much to me. What a sweet, kind, and thoughtful thing to do. She also told me that she prays about my anxiety, and it must be working because I really feel that things have been better lately. Of course, tomorrow might be horrible anxiety-wise ~ there’s no way of knowing, really. But I’m awfully proud of myself for the social things that I’ve been doing lately. We had a nice anniversary evening last night … a yummy dinner of lasagna, yeast rolls, veggies, and shortbread cookies drizzled with chocolate for dessert. And Jeff gave me such a gorgeous pair of earrings! (Bronze, to match the eighth anniversary “theme.”) Awesome!!!
I’m nervous today about Lucas, though, and his ear infection. The poor guy really isn’t feeling good. I scheduled an appointment with his pediatrician at 2:15 this afternoon, so we’ll know more then. He called out in the middle of the night last night, and I realized that he was dreaming. He said something about Meredith stealing his orange car! LOL! :) So he wanted me to go downstairs and get it for him. I snuggled in bed with him after that. He hasn’t really moved from our bonus room so far today. He’s currently on the futon watching “Dora.” You can just see in his face that he’s not feeling well. He is eating toast and a banana for breakfast, though, so that’s good. I’m sure the pediatrician will prescribe an antibiotic for him. I just hope that he feels better soon.
Me? I feel pretty overwhelmed today. Just by everything that needs to get done. I’m not sure how many e-mails are in my inbox at the moment, but most of them involve something that I need to take care of. And then, there’s cleaning ~ oh, I’m tired of cleaning. I’m trying to get our house in tip-top shape for the Fourth of July cookout that we’re having on the 28th ~ and my sophomore year college roommate will be staying with us for a few days. It’s just so hard keeping everything clean with two toddlers running about. Plus, I tend to bite off more than I can chew. I agree to doing so much stuff because I want to do it and have such idealistic thoughts about getting it all finished ~ but then I feel stressed when it doesn’t happen. :( I guess that I need to make a list of priorities for today ~ things that absolutely have to get done ~ and just go from there. And as far as cleaning, I should just tackle one room at a time and not think about the entire house all at once. I need to go easier on myself, but that’s hard for me to do sometimes. I feel like I just woke up a few minutes ago, yet it’s already 11 a.m.! How did that happen?!? I also feel a bit “blah” because it’s “that time of the month” for me. What I want to do today is lounge around in a comfy chair outside with a cool, frosty drink and a new magazine while watching the kids run around and play and have fun.
Well, something else cheered me up this morning ~ a big pink box from my friend Shannon arrived! Yay! Inside were all kinds of neat treats, both for me and the kids. (As you can see in the photo, the kids have scribbled all over our coffee tables! LOL!) Can’t wait to use them! Thank you! :)
Our eighth wedding anniversary is Tuesday, but we decided to start celebrating today. :)
First, we enjoyed a delicious lunch at our local café. I ordered chicken quesadillas (served with rich sour cream and spicy salsa), and Jeff opted for a breakfast of strawberry-blueberry pancakes with sausage. We live in a very small town where everyone pretty much knows everyone else, so when we walked in by ourselves, everyone in the café shouted, “What? No children?!?” :) It was nice to linger over a yummy meal while gazing out at the Hudson River and actually having some peaceful time to talk with each other.
Afterward, we jumped back into the car and headed to Crossgates Mall for a movie. Now, get this ~ I hadn’t been inside a movie theater since July 2004, when we saw “Spider-Man.” And actually, back then I was pregnant with Lucas but just didn’t know it yet. (Having to get up and go to the bathroom about every 10 minutes during the film should have clued me in!) It was just so amazing to think about sitting in that very same theater four years ago with a tiny little one growing in my tummy ~ about to find out very soon that I would be a mommy!
We saw “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” and we both agreed that it definitely wasn’t the best of the Indiana Jones movies. Still great, though. My friend Jan told me to pay attention to the monkey’s back (during the scene where they’re swinging from the trees, I’m assuming), but I must have missed it because I didn’t notice anything. It was kind of sad seeing Harrison Ford so much older (and slower-moving), but I swear that he just gets more and more handsome with age. The ending was cute ~ definitely setting up for a sequel. And I’d forgotten how loud movies can be! We bought some bottled water (on “sale” for $3.75, LOL!), and the lady in front of me at the concession stand spent $17 on two small Cokes and a large tub of popcorn. That’s just insane. Oh, but all that butter looked so freaking good.
I gave Jeff his anniversary present, too. The traditional eighth anniversary gifts are bronze or pottery, so I got a bit creative and gave him a gift certificate to The Pottery Place. I thought that we could go there as a family and create some fun things with the kids’ hand prints, or we could also go there as a couple and make something together.
So where were our children during all of this? At home with our wonderful babysitter. :) She goes to our church and is very pretty, smart, responsible, and kind. She just completed her senior year of high school while simultaneously completing her first year of college! We knew that Lucas and Meredith were in excellent hands. I’m so glad that she was available today.
And you know what? I’m so proud of myself. My anxiety didn’t bother me one bit today. Going places and being social like that often makes my anxiety flare up, and I figured that I’d have to pop one of my “mega pills” before the movie. Nope! It’s crazy ~ going to movies never bothered me before, but for the past several years I’ve been nervous about movie theaters (especially at night). This time, however, I did just great!
So Tuesday, on our actual anniversary, I have a very special dinner lined up: frozen lasagna. :) You might laugh, but it’s actually kind of a tradition. On our first wedding anniversary, we stayed in Montauk, NY, and bought some frozen lasagna one evening at a local grocery store. Then, we came back to our hotel room and heated it up in the microwave. It was pretty neat, having a “picnic” inside. So sometimes we still do the lasagna thing to celebrate that fun memory!
Almost eight years. Wow. And we’re getting close to our 10th!
So last night, I pulled up in front of an Indian restaurant on Madison Avenue in downtown Albany, NY ~ all excited for a moms’ night out with some good friends. Wasn’t sure whether I had to feed the meter, though. It was after 6 p.m., so I suspected not. But just to make sure, I asked a guy who happened to be walking past.
He was concentrating intensely on his cell phone ~ probably trying to dial someone’s number ~ but every so often, his eyes would shift upward and he would smile at me. I thought that was cute. He said no, not to worry about the meter. That’s when he said, “Hey ~ have you ever been to Mahar’s?” (a nearby bar). I smiled and said, “No. Why? Is it good?” And he started talking about how the beer there is just excellent but that cell phone reception inside pretty much sucks. I said, “Well, thanks … I’ll definitely have to check it out sometime.” He started walking down toward the bar and said, “Hey ~ maybe later if you want, come on in and I’ll buy you a beer.” I smiled and told him how nice that was of him, that I really appreciated it ~ and he said, “I’m serious! I’ll treat you to one!” And he went inside.
So yes, I got hit on last night. And frankly, it felt great. I can’t tell you the last time that’s happened. A friend who was meeting us at the restaurant happened to be standing right there, watching the entire thing. We had a good laugh about it. And she said, “Wow … that never happens to me!” LOL! :)
I’d eaten dinner at home already (because I was hungry!), but I ordered some delicious vegetarian samosas with two different sauces (one was green and kind of spicy; the other looked like soy sauce but was very sweet). I adore Indian food. And a friend shared her rice with me. I wanted to order some Indian ice cream, too, but no one else was having dessert. I was hoping for some masala chai, but the restaurant didn’t have air conditioning (just fans), and I so wasn’t in the mood for a warm drink.
The five of us talked about life, our kids, potty training, summer vacations, summer camps, kindergarten, cooking, getting our kids to eat a variety of foods, you name it. Ahh, so nice just to kick back and spend some time with friends (sans distractions). All of the other moms had older kids (and they live in the Albany area, whereas we’re far away in the country), so I couldn’t fully participate in all of their discussions. But I took good notes as ideas for the future!
So after we all left, the sky just broke and rain came pouring down. Our city was under a tornado watch. I wasn’t quite ready to go home yet, though. I drove over to the grocery store and picked up some milk (we are always out of milk!) and some fruit snacks. I missed the kiddos and thought that I would bring them a surprise. Then, I stopped at Burger King for some coffee (my parents rave about how good their coffee is, and I’m happy to have finally tried some). The rain stopped a bit but was still sprinkling, and I rolled the windows down to enjoy the cool, fresh air.
I had a ton of fun last night, and I also feel like it was a victory in my battle with anxiety. I haven’t gone out at nighttime like that in … goodness, I can’t remember when. For some reason, going out at night makes me feel quite nervous. But last night, I kicked back, relaxed, and had a good time with the girls. And had a much-needed break. And didn’t feel anxious at all. I’m already looking forward to next month’s outing!
